What to write in an engagement card

An engagement card lands in a strange window: everything is exciting and nothing is decided. The best ones celebrate the decision rather than the event. Say you are glad about the two of them, not that you cannot wait for the wedding — they are about to hear that from everybody, usually followed by a question about the date.

Warm

Friendly, unfussy, safe with almost anybody.

• Congratulations! The answer was always going to be yes.
• So pleased for you both. This is lovely news.
• Congratulations on the easiest decision either of you has made.
• Delighted for you. Enjoy this bit — it only happens once.
• Congratulations to you both. What excellent taste you each have.

Funny

A joke with affection behind it. Read the room first.

• Congratulations. Now the real work begins: the seating plan.
• Engaged! Brace yourself for eighteen months of being asked about a date.
• Congratulations. Say yes to the proposal, no to the first venue you see.
• Wonderful news. Please elope and tell nobody but me.
• Congratulations. I’ve already decided what I’m wearing.

Heartfelt

For the people you would actually say this to out loud.

• Congratulations. You two have been right for a long time; it’s nice of you to make it official.
• So happy for you both — this is a good thing happening to good people.
• Watching you choose each other is one of my favourite things. Congratulations.
• Congratulations. Whatever the day turns out to be, the decision is the part that matters.
• The answer was yes, and so is everything else. Congratulations.

Simple

When short is the right answer, and it often is.

• Congratulations on your engagement!
• Wonderful news — congratulations.
• So happy for you both.
• Congratulations to you both.
• Delighted to hear it. Congratulations.

What to avoid

• Don’t ask when the wedding is. They have been asked forty times this week.
• Don’t comment on the ring’s size or cost, in either direction.
• Don’t say “about time”. It is funnier to you than to them.
• Don’t offer to help with the planning in the card unless you mean it.