What to write in a wedding card

Wedding cards are read in a pile, often weeks later, often out loud. That is an argument for being specific and short rather than lyrical and long. If you know them well, say something only you could say. If you don’t, warmth and brevity are perfectly good manners — nobody has ever been disappointed by a short, kind wedding card.

Warm

Friendly, unfussy, safe with almost anybody.

• Congratulations to you both. Today was lovely and so are you.
• Wishing you a marriage as good as the party. Congratulations.
• So happy for you both. Here’s to everything that comes next.
• Congratulations — may it be full of ordinary, excellent days.
• To have and to hold, and to argue about the dishwasher. Congratulations.

Funny

A joke with affection behind it. Read the room first.

• Congratulations. You may now stop planning things.
• Marriage: the long game. You both look well prepared.
• Congratulations on finding someone who tolerates you at breakfast.
• Wishing you a lifetime of agreeing which one of you is driving.
• Congratulations. The hard part is over; now you just have to be nice to each other forever.

Heartfelt

For the people you would actually say this to out loud.

• Congratulations. Watching you two choose each other has been a genuine pleasure.
• Whatever comes, you’ll meet it together now. That is no small thing.
• You make each other better, and it shows. Congratulations to you both.
• Wishing you a long, unremarkable, deeply happy marriage.
• Thank you for letting us be there. Congratulations, with love.

Simple

When short is the right answer, and it often is.

• Congratulations!
• Congratulations to you both.
• Wishing you every happiness.
• So happy for you. Congratulations.
• With love on your wedding day.

What to avoid

• Don’t give marriage advice unless you were asked for it. Especially not in the card.
• Don’t mention an ex, a previous marriage, or how long it took them to get here.
• Don’t write about the cost of the day, even as a compliment.
• Don’t use “Mr and Mrs” unless you know that is what they are using.